Don't You Wanna Stay
by oxlabyrinthxo
Summary: A short one-shot about Ian leaving and what I think should have occurred. I listened to the song "Don't You Wanna Stay" by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson for inspiration and that's where the title came from.


  
**This was written for my friend LovetheOmni because she is teaching English while she is away studying in Japan and I need her to make "fetch" happen. Hopefully she'll accept this bribe and do it. *hint hint*.** **This is my first attempt at writing a Gallavich or Shameless fic so be kind.** **IMPORTANT!: I do use the word "f*g" one instance in this story. Mickey says it. This is in no way a reflection of how I actually talk or feel. I do not in anyway endorse the use of this word, but I did use it in this story because nothing else worked to keep the sentence in character for Mickey. I apologize if you are offended. It was not my intent to offend anyone. Please be merciful.**

Mickey

"The fuck do you want?!" Mickey shouted at Mandy's lurking from in the doorway while he turned his back to her to hide his tears. Why the fuck am I crying for? Mickey wondered stubbornly. We were just fucking. Just fucking. That's all it was supposed to be but somewhere along the way the lines got blurred and Mickey allowed himself to feel.

"Really? I mean that's all you're going to say to him?" Mandy asked him incredulously. Mickey defiantly shrugged then froze. She knew. Slowly, with great effort, Mickey turned to look at his sister shock written on the planes of his face. "You're a fucking pussy!" Mandy yelled angrily when he didn't move.

Mickey stared at her retreating back and the empty door frame a moment longer after she left. Mickey turned away and put the heels of his hands to his eye as he felt tears burning his eyes. What was he going to do?

Ian

He was tired, tired of chasing after Mickey Milkovich. Tired of waiting and hoping Mickey would find the balls to admit he loved him, to admit that it was more than just fucking.

"Think I'm gonna chase after you like some bitch?"

No. Ian didn't want Mickey to be anyone but himself, and if that meant he'd never get the flowery declarations of love he so craved, then so be it. Hell Ian would settle for Mickey to just acknowledge that they were in a relationship, Mickey didn't have to say he love him. Yet. All Ian wanted was Mickey and Mickey was now married to a Russian whore.

"Don't"

When Ian heard Mickey's voice crack as he said that word with a small amount of defeat Ian felt hoped mixed with a sense of weariness. "Don't what?" he had asked.

"Just don't."

Ian was tired of this same old song and dance around Mickey's feelings. It was his turn to walk away from this like his heart wasn't breaking.

Ian boarded the Army bus with resolve in his spine. There was no Mickey rushing to stop him like a small part of him was hoping for. This was goodbye, more importantly this was a fresh start. He sat in his seat silently feeling the somber mood he and his fellow passengers created. Outside recruits chattered but once inside the bus they fell silent as the weight of their decision hit them.

For several long moments Ian sat in his seat trying to memorize everything about his home town. The Kash & Grab, his family, his friends, but his thoughts always lead him back to Mickey Milkovich. So Ian tried to think of nothing, to clear his mind to simply take in the hypnotic vibrations and sounds of the running, stationary bus. So focused was Ian that when the bus lurched forward his whole body jerked in surprise from the momentum. Out of habit he stared out the window and let his thoughts wander again. As the bus turned out of the parking lot behind the Army Recruitment Office Ian saw a dark haired man run into the parking lot, shouts muffled by the bus.

"Think I'm gonna chase after you like a bitch?"

No. Ian thought with a smile. Mickey wasn't anybody's bitch, Mickey was entirely his own, but for Ian's sake Mickey would sink lower that he had before to keep him. Ian let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and laughed quietly to himself making a mental note to write to Mickey when he got where he was going. Ian supposed he would have to address the letters to Mandy but Ian was sure Mandy would be game to help him and Mickey carry on their tryst. Ian didn't need flowery declarations of love; Mickey's actions said it all for him. Mickey Milkovich loved Ian Gallagher.

Dear Mickey,

I saw you chasing after the bus the morning I left. I understand. This is the address where you can reach me at, write me if you want. I'll address any replies to Mandy as I did with this one. I'm sorry I left.

I. Gallagher

Ian sighed, the letter was short and so much was left unsaid, but it was a start. Ian addressed the letter to Mandy, looked around to make sure no one was looking and kissed the letter before dropping it in the mail box.

The reply he got a little over a week later made him smile. It was written in Mickey's shaking, unsure hand and full of misspellings and crossed out words that were illegible. His reply was short like Ian's initial letter was, but it warmed Ian's heart all the same.

Ian,

You didn't see nuffin bitch.

Don't fucking think I'm gonna sit around waitin for you. I'm not some goddamn woman Gallagher. But you'd better keep you're fucking dick out of those fucking fags firecrotch.

Mickey

Ian re read the letter and his smile widened. It was what Mickey said and didn't say that made him smile. Mickey told him not to fuck anyone else, but the letter implied that Mickey wouldn't be fucking anyone else either.


End file.
